she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
