You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
wanna go halves on a baby?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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