im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize
