Screwed.edu
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize