Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
