You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
