so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
