My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
