the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize