Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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