I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
