im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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