my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
