just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
