You're my little dorito
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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