its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
