I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
