about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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