the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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