Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
