I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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