my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
