pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
