He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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