what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
