I murdered the dance floor call the cops
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
