Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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