nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
