WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Randomize
