That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You work out of a Hotel?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
