I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
