My Higher Power is John Stamos
Fuck appropriateness.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize