I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
