i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize