And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
3pm strippers are depressing
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just want nice things and good sex
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize