if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
the raccoons are back...
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