You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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