Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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