I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
