Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
