Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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