fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
