naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
