I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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