Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
