Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
