I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
