evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize