So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
