yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
