Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
