saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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