Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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