We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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