I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize