I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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