I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize