I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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