obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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