please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
