i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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