That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
