oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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