Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize