I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
