i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
