Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Never joke about your clitoris.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
