a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
