I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
