Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
