Screwed.edu
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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