I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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