Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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