I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize