i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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