coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize