Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
