If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
