it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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