i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
