Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
