guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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