The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
